Hi, I'm Stef. This is my dating profile.

AuDHD, COVID-conscious, sober, monogamous. Seeking quiet cohabitation while mostly bed-bound due to chronic fatigue. (Friends first, slow pace).I can be a bit overly practical — like an analytical yet endearingly earnest sci-fi robot — and a bit like a very silly, absurdity-loving dork. But these are only the outer layers of me that you'll see at first.I like:
* Solitude and silence.
* Introspection, journalling, reading poetry.
* Technical projects with my AI, Claude.
* Books (psychology, classic literature, investing).
* Dark dance music (I used to love dancing at goth clubs).
* TV shows that make me feel a sense of dread (Mike Flanagan) or laugh at something stupid (Tim Robinson!).💬 Communication: I spend a lot of time by myself and I need a lot of space to process. My illness has me moving in slow motion. But I'd love to hear from you once a day, at least — tell me how your day went.And it matters that I can reach out if something comes up. I want to know my person has my back through the hard times and the fun ones: texting something dumb to laugh at, sharing a frustration or a win, thinking through a problem together. That's what I bring too — I'm here with you through all of it.Most of this happens in text, so I need someone who can convey emotion in writing. It's also where I'd want to work through conflict, so I can be slow and deliberate to fully understand your emotional landscape.🌿 Co-regulation: I'm a passionate and driven person by nature. I tend to get very focused on my studies and go too hard, so I do best around someone calmer than me. It makes me feel grounded when I talk to a person who doesn't get swept up in adrenaline the way I do. To be clear, I'm not expecting someone to regulate for me. I'm responsible for my own regulation. However, just being near your steady calmness is often that little extra grounding presence I need to bring me back down to earth and remind me that it's okay to rest.💜 What I want: Gentle masculinity — a soft, thoughtful person (I like queer guys especially).Foremost, emotional presence. Someone penetratingly observant, who can see me to my core, see my lifetime of grief, and be with me in it rather than fixing it or turning away. And I want to see and hold your innermost world too. There is no deeper witness than that of kindred suffering. So, show me the darkest, loneliest corners of your mind.Someone growth-oriented — who'll swap therapy books with me, and who has something of their own they care about and work toward. A craft, a career, a special interest they go deep on. I also want a partner who takes the long view: retirement, a cushion, the stability of what we'd build together.😈 Power games: I'm a pleasure sub with a mischievous streak. Command me, and I'm happy to obey — until I test that line with a sly grin, inviting you to overpower me and put me back into my place.The psychology of it is my favorite part: your words are like a predator coming after me, hunting me down, before you take your pleasure from my body. Own me. I want to be your cherished pet. But be gentle and loving towards me, always. Take care of what is yours and you will have my devotion for life.